Oh man! The Avengers! I’ve been waiting for this movie for just about forever (and by forever, I mean I was willing to go see it). So much stuff! So much! I’m going to try and relay the awesome to you guys. There’s a giant snake/turtle/fish/dinosaur things that can fly, portals to other planets, airplane carriers THAT ALSO FLY, action, AMERICA, more action, MORE AMERICA, and Gweneth Paltrow in daisy dukes.
So, this movie begins with the bad guy, Loki, making the same face that I make in pictures. This face means he’s about to do evil stuff. Naturally, this face is used throughout the entire movie. Also, he’s basically indestructible, carries a magic wand of blue explosions, and has perfect hair. The world seems pretty screwed, but luckily it’s not because of… America. Oh wait, I mean… The Avengers.
Of course, this means they send in Captain America (played by Chris Evans) with his awesome American cliches, perfect hair, and shield that deflects everything. He wears pajamas pretty much the entire movie and refuses to sign people’s Captain America Trading Cards (douche). There’s also The Hulk. Surprisingly, they have found a match for the Hulk in Hollywood every-man Mark Rufallo. He turns green and smashes stuff, as usual, but with more emotional depth! Scarlett Johansson plays the beautiful, quick, and brilliant Black Widow. All she has to use against this huge alien invasion is a tight suit, pistols, and her awesome fighting abilities. Turns out, those things don’t get you a bigger part in a movie. Chris Hemsworth, with his beautiful eyes and swoon-worthy grumbly voice, plays Thor with a hammer that weighs a lot and a strange British/Irish/Scandanavian accent. Robert Downey Jr. plays Robert Downey Jr. in a metal suit (GOOD THING). Samuel L. Jackson plays Nick Fury, who is funny and basically a toned down version of Samuel L. Jackson. He also has an eye patch (eye patch = pirate or cool guy). Also, Jeremy Renner plays a smaller part than Scarlett Johansson.
The camera work was interesting at times. They worked with a lot of different themes for the characters: a soft vintage glow over Captain America, a glossy and polished view of Iron Man. Thor and Loki’s scenes looked right out of a Might Morphin’ Power Rangers movie equipped with four-thumbed baddies that look like the Emperor from Star Wars. The set pieces were incredible and the sheer magnitude of the movie was astounding. The script was genuinely funny and willing to make fun of things that are, admittedly, a tad silly. The characters didn’t take away from each other in the slightest; everyone shone in their own sense and really synergized well. The action scenes flowed perfectly and gave a sense of unity among this huge bout of destruction.
Overall, the movie is just pure unadulterated fun. The characters all shine and they play well together. Really, there is no downside to this movie, as it really exceeded my expectations. Luckily, they may have set it up for a sequel (Watch after the credits. There are TWO scenes). This is, by far, the best Marvel movie that’s been made, and I really hope they keep making movies that they take this seriously.
Things we learned:
- Mark Rufallo turns green when he’s angry
- The difference between Loki and a Power Ranger is… nothing
- Black Widow would win a fight against Hawkeye
- Mark Rufallo made the best Hulk ever besides Lou Ferrigno
- The Avengers fight each other more than they fight bad guys
- Thor is a loner
- Captain America has a hard time understanding topical humor
- Jeremy Renner is always carrying a weapon in movies
Other pies on the windowsill:
Next time you go see it you’ll definitely need this for some Smell-O-Vision action: Avengers Cologne Set.